If you are reading this text, then:
- you are probably bored enough to be browsing this nearly unvisited part of the Internet, so, I hate to tell you this, I must say it though. Look for a life. With all my love my undead heart can give you. :)
- you must be doing some kind of research on the least viewed pages in the Internet, and suddenly got here. Well, I give you permission to go away, you've come to the wrong place. Nothing interesting round here.
- you are the Chosen One. If you are, then you mustn't go. Just follow the orders below. And no, there aren't any evil grins in my face. Or, are there? Hehehehehehe, mwahahahahaha. Welcome to hell.
- you are Lindel. Why, hello there! :)
- you are from the future, and want to see any reason on the shattering of now 'your' planet. I apologise. Good luck with the radiation, fellow.
- you have been looking for me for weeks. Well, then it's me the one who should leave. *whistles nervously*
- you come from an alien race who has mastered English and the use of Internet. My respects. However I think that you didn't expect this. Well... Congratulations for conquering my home planet, dude! You deserve my respect. Oh, and, sorry for that bottle of beer I left in Mars... I hope you've got a nice recycling system.
- you have been tough enough to survive this whole text. Guess I have no more options than to let you in. Follow the rules and I'll pretend that nothing happened.
Now it's time for all of you to know who I am.
I won't reveal my true identity yet, but there's a name you should use, when talking about me:
GOD
Nah, just kidding.
Or maybe not?
Now seriously. From now until the day of my disappearance, you should call me:
Hamlet
That's all. Briefing concluded.
